I’ll start with a hint: Truly successful men have a life.
They don’t go out to bars four times a week and then jerk off at the gym for the rest.
In the past ten years, I’ve met all sorts of guys. “Geeks”, “weirdos”, guys who grew up with abundance and wealth around them, guys who want to get laid and “nothing more”, “normal” guys, brilliant guys, etc.
I also got rejected by hundreds of women and wrote about it, while watching the successful guys “beat me”.
The ones who turned to be successful with women, or were always successful, always had a couple of things in common.
1. They aren’t result oriented
Even when I met guys who were always after sex, they were successful because they weren’t outcome-dependent in any way. They just went out, enjoyed the music, the beer and the vibe, and did their thing. The problem is that when you try to “succeed” with women, you tend to get so caught up in the final result. And it ruins everything. Women feel you want something from time- be it sex, relationships, or dates- making them take a big step backwards. When you let go of expectation- this is when the fun begins.
2. They appreciate the woman they’re with
They let her know she’s more than just “a pussy” in their eyes. They talk about her interests, mention what they like about her specifically, and learn how to have an intelligent conversation with another human being. This lets the girl realize you’re not some moron. You’re a normal guy. She can feel comfortable around you and be herself. And when a girl feels comfortable around a guy… this is when the fun begins.
3. They have a solid career
I know many guys who are successful with women, yet they work at a shit job- even at the age of 30. This is where the definition of “successful” comes in.
If all you want is to get laid, you can probably do it without having “a life”. If you’re going to meet women who, how would I call it, have more “class” or they’re” higher quality”- then you need to figure out this part of your life. Don’t be a bum. Please.
4. They take care of their bodies
They go to the gym. They’re aware of their diets. It lets women know they care about themselves. AND it makes them look better. Lifting weights makes you look good(if you ask me), but it also makes you feel great. Higher testosterone, better this, better that, you know the drill. When you feel great about yourself, people feel that. Especially women.
5. They don’t act like idiots
At the end of the day, they’re just normal guys who want the best for themselves and for the people around them.
6. They forgot about “Pickup” and other dating advice
At some point, you have to leave that behind. This is where you develop self-trust and start viewing yourself as a master instead of a student. No more coaches. No more GoORooz on Youtube. Just you and your self-reliance. This is true freedom. You can’t walk around as a confident guy and think to yourself, “Hmm, I wonder what this coach would do in that situation. Oh, and what about what this guy said? What’s the best approach here?”All this self-talk inside your head leads to no good, especially when interacting with women.
7. They walk their path
I like this one. It might take some time but you’ll get there. You’ll feel like you’re doing what YOU want to do with your life. You’re doing what YOU think is right. You’re building your own little island, your own life, and you’re damn proud of what’s taking shape in front of your eyes.