They say 5 or 10% of men sleep with all women. The past ten years have shown me this is true. It’s “unfair”, but this is reality. I met successful men and, on the other hand, guys who couldn’t approach a girl even if you put a gun to their heads.
You can say a lot about what the successful guys have in common. They dress nice, work out, have a career path, and all that. But underneath, there’s one unshakable that drives their behaviour.
Attractive men believe this no matter what
This is one of my biggest epiphanies with women. Without this belief, getting women into your life is extremely hard. Here it is: men who’re successful with women believe they’re the best thing for her, out of all men. This simple mindset can turn a “loser” into a “winner” quickly. That’s what it did for me.
I have a good friend who doesn’t do much with his life. He rolls around with his scooter doing deliveries, goes to the gym, and hits on girls whenever he likes. He doesn’t have a steady job or even aspirations for the future. But when he talks to a girl, he thinks he’s GOD. Lol. I’m laughing as I’m writing this. He has this unshakable belief about himself- “I’m the best thing for her”, which is nothing more than an illusion. In a way, whoever believes this is somewhat deluded. Me as well.
Am I better than all the other guys in the room? Who the hell knows. I don’t know, and honestly I don’t care. It doesn’t matter. It works because this is natural selection in play. A girl will choose the guy who THINKS he’s the best for her out of all the men within a particular setting. The guy who thinks, believes, and ultimately knows he’s the best. No matter if he’s somewhat deluded and technically, other guys in the room are “better” than him.
The long, hard road to being “enough”
Imagine you’re sitting down, and I come close with a big bucket of water over your head. Since the bucket is full, you’ll feel that sort of instinct telling you to pull back. To take a step backwards into “safety”. When a guy approaches life with an “I’m enough” mindset, it reinforces his confidence and makes everyone around him feel his presence.
He approaches women calmly. He doesn’t over-compensate for anything. He’s full. Steady. Knows his worth. In a business setting, he mentions his premium prices and shuts up. He doesn’t explain himself. Same thing in a job interview.
People can tell, “This guy is serious and knows what he’s doing.” Now imaging living like this for a year or two. Let me tell you, your self-belief and confidence become almost ridiculous. This is how you start feeling like “the best”. Of course, you need to keep facing the challenges of life.
You can’t sit down at home and say, “HA! I’m enough! That’s it!” It’s a self-belief which slowly grows within you. Your job is to plant the seed of confidence (face challenges), then let time do its thing. Bit by bit, you grow. Some men reach the “I’m enough” mindset sooner, some later.
Free to say whatever
“There’s no theory here. It’s the rambling of a madman”- Rickey Gervais, The World Of Karl Pilkington. Ricky Gervais’s radio show from the early 2000s is something else. You got three people sitting around talking nonsense. And out of this free, careless behaviour of self-expression, genius stuff emerges. Idiotic, stupid, random nonsense is funny when someone says them seriously.
You see, guys who overthink their interactions with women never get far. It just doesn’t work. It doesn’t get the girl. Intelligent guys are too hard on themselves exactly because of this reason.
They don’t even approach the girl because they “don’t know what to say”. A moment later, some idiot approaches her, says whatever, and makes her laugh instantly. He ain’t too smart for himself.
Once a guy fully integrates this belief of “I’m enough”, he reaches a state when his whole body is aligned with his thoughts. You don’t believe you’re enough; it’s a fact. You know it. And it’s the perfect platform to feel like you’re the best. When you’re able to express yourself freely, you become dangerous.
Knowing you’re “enough” and feeling like you’re the best thing to ever happen for a woman is critical if you ask me. When you know you’re enough as a man, you can’t help but feel like the best.
The most successful guys I know have this unshakable belief about themselves. It’s a competitive edge few men have. And you get there by dealing with life’s challenges and not backing down when shit gets tough.